台灣果然是人才濟濟啊. 賣火柴小女孩是富有日本漫畫風格的搞笑短片.
看看心情會變好噢! 總共有六集, 喜歡的話可以去YouTube繼續看!
有一個國王去打獵時墜落山谷，當孤立無援時，
有一隻巨大的神龍出現。
神龍告訴國王一個交換援助條件 : 國王必須正確回答一個
全世界最困難的問題才能獲得神龍的救助。
神龍發問：女人究竟真正要什麼？
國王被問倒了，於是想出緩兵之計。
國王說：神龍可否先救我，我將靈魂抵押給你，
讓我回到王宮尋求答案，七日後我會帶著答案再來找你。
神龍說：可以，不過如果七日後你不信守承諾，你就會因失魂落魄而死。
國王回到宮中將經歷告知內閣大臣及國策顧問，
結果大家都想不出答案而愁眉苦臉。
眼看日子一天天過去，期限只剩兩天了。
一位國王的馬夫說：城南有一位巫婆知識淵博，他應該知道答案。
於是英俊瀟灑的侍衛長立刻騎快馬將巫婆請到宮中。
巫婆到宮中後，國王將經歷與神龍的問題告知巫婆。
巫婆說：答案我是知道的，國王的命我也能救，不過我有交換條件。
那就是要陛下的侍衛長在事成後娶我為妻。
國王毫不考慮一口就替侍衛長答應了並立下詔書為憑。
巫婆說答案是：女人真正要的 , 是能由自己決定主宰她自己的生活方式。
國王告訴侍衛長關於巫婆的要求，侍衛長差點昏倒，
但為了國王的性命，只能愁眉苦臉且無奈地接受事實。
國王帶著答案去找神龍要贖回自己的靈魂，神龍聽到標準答案後，
稱讚國王是全世界最聰明的男人，也依約將國王的靈魂還給國王。
一行人回到宮中後即開始籌備侍衛長與巫婆的婚禮
( 婚紗照，喜餅，菜色等事宜 )。
婚禮當天，雞皮鶴髮的新娘配上年輕英俊的侍衛長，
喜宴上巫婆吃像難看不打緊，還邊吃邊大聲放屁，不時發出不雅的笑聲。
侍衛長為了國家犧牲自我，男人的威嚴一點都不敢在喜宴中發作。
好不容易熬到入洞房的時刻。當巫婆換下禮服，從淋浴間出來時 ,
侍衛長不敢相信他的眼睛，因為走出來的是一個比馬莉亞凱莉，
飯島愛，濱崎步更超級性感十倍的辣妹。
她對侍衛長說：” 因為你信守承諾，沒有對我發怒，
容忍我在喜宴中放肆丟你的人，
我決定往後每一天中有十二小時變成超級溫柔美女陪伴你，
但是你可以決定我固定在白天變美女還是晚上變美女，
而且選完就不能改變心意 “。
年輕英俊的侍衛長頓時陷入兩難的局面。
因為他不知應該選擇白天帶一位絕世美女出門向朋友炫耀，讓眾人羨慕，
而晚間要和一位雞皮鶴髮的巫婆同床共枕（要面子犧牲裡子），
還是白天讓眾人對老巫婆指指點點， 嘲笑侍衛長的可憐，
而晚上他可以和超級美女夜夜春宵（犧牲面子要裡子）。
想了半天，年輕英俊的侍衛長最後向巫婆說：”
你自己決定何時要扮演你喜歡的角色就可以了，
我不干涉你的生活方式。”
巫婆聽了很高興，對年輕英俊的侍衛長說：”
由於你的包容與智慧，我決定天天二十四小時變成一個
有教養的超級性感溫柔美女陪伴你照顧你。”
侍衛長突然驚訝的發覺：原來幸福竟然如此意外地降臨在他身上。
國王、侍衛長、巫婆最後皆大歡喜，眾內閣官員全數跌破眼鏡。
這個故事給我們的啟示是 :
1. 人要信守承諾。
2. 小人物的建議有時應參考一下。
3. 未經你的同意，你主管幫你包山包海承諾的事情還是要盡力完成。 真是經典
4. 婚姻的幸福與否與婚禮的排場無關。
5. 對女人一定要有包容心，讓女人自己決定她的生活方式。
6. 不管外表如何裝扮或改變，女人的內在本質還是一個巫婆。 真是超經典
7. 不要指望你的另一半看完這故事會大徹大悟。
( 尤其打你的手機第一句話是問你現在在哪裡的人 ——因為標準答案是 “我在你心裡 “。)
8. 在台灣，巫婆是不會變美女的。
The famous girlfriend stories part 3
Filed Under (Funny, Life) by Seth on 10-01-2008
The mysterious, reactive supernatural abilities.
It’s seventh month of the Chinese lunar calendar, the month of the hungry ghosts.
Down stairs at my block, people burning incense and offering paper money to the dead. The conversation is between my friend and his girlfriend.
“What are they doing? Why so many people burning incense?” (Note: She is perfectly normal at this moment and curious)
“Oh they are offering it to the hungry ghosts.”
“What hungry ghosts?”
“Oh it is….(explains the hungry ghost festival in details).”
“Ahhh I see, no wonder nowadays I see a lot of spirits around.” (Note: Suddenly her powers are unleashed and she can detect them)
Enters the lift.
“So cold…the lift is filled with them….”
That’s not the end. Days later she went out to get some groceries and came home visibly shaken. The conversation below is between me and her.
“What happened? You look pale.”
“Oh, a lot of them were following me.”
“Erm…a lot of what were following you?”
“Spirits, they were following me just now. Do you have salt at home? I need some salt.”
Passed her some salt from the kitchen. She did this throwing salt behind her shoulder thing and formed a tiny pillar of salt next to my door.
“Erm…what’s that for?”
“Oh I am stopping the spirits at your door so they cannot come in or follow me any more.”
“Eh…wow thanks for doing that.”
That evening my landlord knocked on my doors.
“Hey why do you have this salt pillar next to your door?”
“Erm..well my friend’s girlfriend left it there, something to do with warding off evil.”
With a straight face my landlord said
“Hmm I thought so, she must really know her stuff to have such a well placed pillar of salt.”
The famous girlfriend stories part 2
Filed Under (Funny, Life) by Seth on 10-01-2008
The stories are not told in a chronological order, but rather as to how I remember them. I think this story will explain the “face black black” phrase a little.
At home. After a fight between my friend and his girlfriend. Friend leaves for home. The conversation is between me and my friend’s girlfriend.
“He is so stupid.”
“Erm ok.”(Feigning ignorance)
“He is always like that, doesn’t understand me. Always make me sad and have to argue with him.”
“I think you have problem understanding him too.”
“Do you think we should be together? Try and continue?” (Note: Question is asked rhetorically and the expected answer is Yes.)
“No. I think you two should just split up and end the torment.”
Shocked face and silence.
“You think he is not happy with me?”
“Look, I don’t know what is going on but if you really want to know, I will tell you that he is not happy.”
“How you know he is not happy? He come from camp always face black black.”
“Well, I met him today at the MRT, he was happy to book out of camp and had dinner with me talking happily. Then he comes over to my place, sees you, goes into the room with you to talk to you, then he comes out face black black. You think he is happy with you? I don’t know, but I think you are the one making his face black black.”
Tears and emotions follow. She didn’t talk to be for a while.
The famous girlfriend stories part 1
Filed Under (Funny, Life) by Seth on 10-01-2008
Let’s not use any names. Conversation is between me and a friend who has a girlfriend. The wordings are not exact, mostly paraphrased from my memory, but the meaning is close.
At home.
“Hey let’s got get dinner.”
“Ok sure, I will come along. I go ask what my girlfriend wants.” Pause. “She says she doesn’t know what she wants, ask me to go to the coffee shop and then phone her to tell her what’s there to eat.”
“Erm ok. “
At the coffee shop 15 minutes walk away.
“Ok I am going to get lor mee, what do you want?”
“I call my girlfriend first and see what she wants….” Pause. “Hello? I am at the coffee shop already. Yeah there is minced meat noodles, fish soup, porridge, prata, western food, wanton noodles, lor mee….huh? Repeat again ah? Ok… there is minced meat noodles, fish soup, porridge, prata, western food, wanton noodles, lor mee…Huh? You don’t know what you want? Ok I call you later…”
“Eh why don’t you just buy a papaya? She likes to have it for lunch instead.”
“Ok I call her to let her know…” Pause “Hey I buy a papaya for you ok? … Ok I will pick a good one for you.”
Buys lor mee, papaya and heads back home.
Phone rings at the lift lobby.
“Hello dear? You want fish soup? Ok, I go get it for you, there is a stall right here near the block. Huh? You don’t want from this stall? You only want the fish soup from the coffee shop that I have to walk 15 minutes to? Erm…ok I will go get it.”
“Hey I go upstairs first, see you later.”
Heads back up to have my lor mee.
30 minutes later friend returned with fish soup and papaya. Girl friend took a look at both and decided to have papaya first. She cut the papaya and tried it.
“This papaya is not nice, go buy me another one.”
Friend exits flat, face black black.
For the people out there…
Filed Under (Funny) by Seth on 16-12-2007
Don’t hesitate any more!
Childhood Education
Filed Under (Funny) by Seth on 09-12-2007
Found this picture online and added a caption to it.
